Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
