I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
