Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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