Me too!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
