I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
