your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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