Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
