Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize