Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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