i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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