I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
