wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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