that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
