That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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