yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
