thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
