What should our trivia night team be named?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?