I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants