3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
What a dumb baby whore.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.