I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
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He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
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And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink