A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"