You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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