Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So much rum. So many feels.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
