your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
