Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
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at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
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Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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