Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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