I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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