I need to stop coming to work sober
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
