Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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