You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
