I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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