My hand turned me down
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
