I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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