it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
