; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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