So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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