he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Actions speak louder than pants.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
