Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My breasts were aching with rage.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
