"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
