What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Never underestimate the power of titties
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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