Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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