dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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