I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My pussy is not your playground.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
