oh god the rape fog is back!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I skipped work to stalk him.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Randomize
