New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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