so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
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