Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
