everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Someone signed my nipple.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
