So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
