i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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