he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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