Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
