Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
