Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Randomize
