I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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