Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
