I have demons in me.
Too much gin, very little bucket
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
