Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
porn star boner night. come get it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
