a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize