What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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