I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
