I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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