So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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