I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
