I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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