you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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