bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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